Tuesday, January 04, 2005
 
The Most Traumatic Thing That Ever Happened To Me Ever
By Eva Lam
Age 17

...okay, that's not how this is going to go.

There are a few candidates for this. Dean already disqualified the heart surgery bit, and I have no memories of it anyways. A couple of funny stories, maybe, but no pain.

The most recent traumatic event, I think, was coming out... mine one day and Stina's the next. Mine was just an issue of nerves since everyone was okay with it... Stina's was much more worth the stress. Everything happened pretty fast and there was some anger and a lot of pain... but at the same time it wasn't my trauma, it was hers and I was just the cushion, which is by far an easier role to play.

There was, of course, the election in 2004... I froze my ass off exit canvassing for three hours with the Milwaukee LGBT Center on the night of the election, as did Stina, and I'd worked for the Kerry campaign at times before that, and I'd put a great deal of hope on this election. And it didn't happen. The melting point came around 2:30 in the morning on 3 November. I'd been up all night watching the election results, frantically hoping for a miracle somewhere, somehow, and I had finally given up and turned off the TV and headed to bed, to find news in the morning. But as I crawled under the covers I turned on NPR, hoping for something to come up. I lay there listening for a while and then they announced that twelve states had passed referenda amending their respective constitutions to ban gay marriage. And then I lost it. I cried. I subjected my poor rabbit AB to about all the squeezing he could take, and I cried until it occurred to me that I was just wallowing in self-pity. And then I thought about it, and I found that it wasn't just self-pity; it was a huge sense of shame that so many people could possibly be so stupid. I think that's the most pain I've felt in recent memory.

But I guess I've found more pain in life with my father... stories I've already told.


- posted by Eva @ 9:18 PM | | 0 rocks in pond



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