RM

2008-05-02T09:32:00.000-05:00

From the Desk of Glinda

Tell them it was a storm that dropped you here on the other side of the rainbow in this land of yellow brick roads and witches to the north, the south, and the west. There used to be one from the east, until your house fell upon her head. Oh, you shouldn’t be surprised those ruby red shoes fit your feet so well. Besides, she can't use them now. She’s dead. Go ahead little girl, skip down the yellow brick road to find the witch of the west. Kill her too; then, take her broom. Of course, it belongs to you. But if you even dare think about adding my wand to your collection, I’ll kill you.

P.S.— your little dog, too.

2008-04-21T08:04:00.002-05:00

I met a man that I have known and liked for some time. He told me that Obama was the anti-christ. I laughed and he didn't. 'now what?' I thought... "Have you read any good books lately?" I asked.

"Yes! You have got to read 'World War Z'. It is a great book about the attack of the zombies."

"Ok," I said.

80. How come it that a cripple does not offend us, but that a fool does? Because a cripple recognises that we walk straight, whereas a fool declares that it is we who are silly; if it were not so, we should feel pity and not anger. -Pascal. Pensées, section II.

So many of us are crippled fools. When do you suppose that 'great correction' will be here?

2008-02-12T12:21:00.000-06:00

Rubbing Alcohol.

Poetry.

Cognition Articles.

Classical CDs.

Moleskin Journal.

Coffee - luke warm in handmade cup.

These are the things I see before me.

2007-10-15T15:11:00.000-05:00

A is for Ablutophobia

In a painting class last week, I suddenly found myself creating an alphabet page for phobias. It startled me, as if I had been thinking about it for the past eight years without knowing.

2007-08-01T18:57:00.000-05:00

Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will not. -Agustine

2007-06-08T08:36:00.000-05:00

Greg Martens is a remarkable man. In regards to his genius, I will not lean on my own understanding but simply be grateful for having encountered him and drink up any blessings that might flow from him in my direction. Greg made the drawing you see here. Perhaps he will see it and tell us something about it. Greg's posts are always a pleasure to read. As far as the likeness in each of the drawings, I believe he captured the psychological truth of each of us. Dare I say that I immediately recognized the two that were not me. Greg hit the mark with them profoundly well. It took me some time to accept the fact that he hit it with me as well. "Know Thy Self" as the highest aim of education needs to come with the additional suggestion: "and learn to live with it." I am learning. Thank you Greg.

2007-06-04T16:44:00.000-05:00

The compact writing of Saki (H. H. Munro 1870 - 1916) is a treat after so much shallow cartoon living that one is exposed to on a daily basis when one is involved with slowly developing children.

The elder of the two had the appearance and manner of a diplomat; in point of fact he was the well-connected foster-brother of a wine business. The other was certainly a journalist. Neither man was talkative and each was grateful to the other for not being talkative. That is why from time to time they talked.

"In the first place I may say that the disappearance of Mrs. Umberleigh was not regarded by the family entirely as a bereavement. My uncle, Edward Umberleigh, was not by any means a weak-kneed individual, in fact in the world of politics he had to be reckoned with more or less as a strong man, but he was unmistakably dominated by Crispina; indeed I never met any human being who was not frozen into subjection when brought into prolonged contact with her. Some people are born to command; Crispina Mrs. Umberleigh was born to legislate, codify, administrate, censor, license, ban, execute, and sit in judgement generally. If she was not born with that destiny she adopted it at an early age. From the kitchen regions upwards every one in the household came under her despotic sway and stayed there with the submissiveness of molluscs involved in a glacial epoch. As a nephew on a footing of only occasional visits she affected me merely as an epidemic, disagreeable while it lasted, but without any permanent effect; but her own sons and daughters stood in mortal awe of her; their studies, friendships, diet, amusements, religious observances, and way of doing their hair were all regulated and ordained according to the august lady's will and pleasure."

2007-05-31T09:25:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a song just hits the spot - and sometimes it doesn't.

Mean Old Man - by James Taylor

On my own How could I have known? Imagine my surprise Just a fool From a tree full of fools Who cant believe his eyes Imagine my surprise I was a mean old man I was an ornery cuss I was a dismal dan I made an awful fuss Ever since my life began Man, it was ever thus I was a nasty tyke who was hard to like I had to misbehave I did things in reverse Refused to wash or shaveI was horrid to my nurse I got back what I gave Which only made me worse I had to have my way Which was bleak and gray, oh dear Living in here One hundred years of rain Such a drag This riches to rags With just myself to blame A dirty low-down shame

Other lyrics by other artists have other affects - what affects you?

2007-05-31T07:41:00.000-05:00

When this site was first initiated in the Fall of 2002, I was blessed with the insightful contribution of several genius children. I would like to return to an early entry and ponder where I have been so that I might better understand where I am going.

Sunday, October 27, 2002
1) The law of interest dictates that we do what we want to do and learn what we want to learn: it is a choice. The job of a teacher is to present information in a way that promotes interest and therefore makes it more likely to be learned. The job of a student is to make an effort to absorb this information and not reject it based on the qualifier that it's information. There is a borderline between the jobs of the student and the teacher: what if the student refuses to learn? if the teacher refuses to teach? The teacher's job is not only to provide information but also to present it... a thespian indeed.
2) The law of diminishing returns dictates that if interest does not serve to keep a student engaged, the teacher must become more and more engaging. This can be avoided by getting everyone engaged in the first place, and the subject matter addressed will become more interesting as it is more deeply investigated. Many are content to be comfortable; the teacher must then run at them several times with an increasingly pointier weapon. Assumptions contains ass. Yo b****.

Thank you EZL.

2007-05-30T11:40:00.000-05:00

The following was sent to me by a friend who knows me well and was perhaps hinting that the content reflects my life - sigh

Russell Edson

A man is bringing a cup of coffee to his face,
tilting it to his mouth. It's historical, he thinks.
He scratches his head: another historical event. He
really ought to rest, he's making an awful lot of
history this morning.

Oh my, now he's buttering toast, another piece
of history is being made.

He wonders why it should have fallen on him to
be so historical. Others probably just don't have it,
he thinks, it is, after all, a talent.

He thinks one of his shoelaces needs tying. Oh
well, another important historical event is about to
take place. He just can't help it. Perhaps he's taking
up too large an area of history? But he has to live,
hasn't he? Toast needs buttering and he can't go
around with one of his shoelaces needing to be tied,
can he?

Certainly it's true, when the 20th century gets
written in full it will be mainly about him. That's
the way the cookie crumbles--ah, there's a phrase
that'll be quoted for centuries to come.
Self-conscious? A little; how can one help it
with all those yet-to-be-born eyes of the future
watching him?

Uh oh, he feels another historical event coming. . .
Ah, there it is, a cup of coffee approaching his
face at the end of his arm. If only they could catch
it on film, how much it would mean to the future.

Oops, spilled it all over his lap. One of those
historical accidents that will influence the next
thousand years; unpredictable, and really rather
uncomfortable . . . But history is never easy,
he thinks. . .

2007-05-30T11:31:00.000-05:00

A letter from the past to shine light on the future - with this thought to preface:

Recollection is a discarded garment, which beautiful as it may be, does not fit, for we have outgrown it. Repetition is an imperishable garment, which fits snugly and comfortably, neither too tight nor too loose. Hope is a charming maiden but slips through the fingers, recollection is a beautiful old woman but of no use at the instant, repetition is a beloved wife of whom on never tires. Youth hopes and youth recollects, but it requires courage to will repetition. If you only hope, you are cowardly; if you only recollect, you are voluptuary; if you will repetition, you are mature - the more expressly you know ho to make your purpose clear, the deeper is your maturity.

On to the letter:

So here are three particular questions - questions that I ask myself often:

How it began: The emotion of: guilt, anger, abandonment, alone/lonely, unloved,-worthlessness…-

It wasn’t the kind of thing where I planned ahead of time on my calendar. It would suddenly just happen. I felt like I had no control over how many times a day I would cut. It all began, I suppose, when I fell into depression and lost interest in what I had loved to do. I would stay in my room all afternoon. Most of the time I did not even eat at the table I took my food and ate in my room. As time went by, I felt more alone than ever. I felt abandoned and left behind. Not having things to occupy my time, (note: when I did I was never stressed out. It was fun. So it wasn’t like I was overworking myself.), made me think of my pass. Something I had tried to overlook during elementary. How I envied, and still do, people who would talk with admiration of their father. I could never do that. I suppose, it was the guilt thinking,“ I made them argue! I was the reason why my mother was ever abused by my father! IT WAS ALL MY FALUT!” guilt- Probably the main reason why anyone cuts…THEN later, I would cut when more disputes arrived in the house, my brothers drinking issue for example, (affects all of us in the family and has hurt us all because we love him…)

How I began to let go:

I never took any counseling, group therapy, etc. However, being in a relationship with someone who has supported me, and made me feel loved, helped me overcome this battle with the knife. Feeling that I am not the person pushed aside, made me let go.. So now its been 11 months without cutting.

3. How I am now:

Every now and then, I think of all that has happened that’s why I had said “I am addicted to tears” Remembering everything brings me down… so I cry. . . late at night. I am still in the process of overcoming everything. I want to feel complete ,COMPLETELY!. I’m putting myself together slowly.. and writing the letter to Graf was part of overcoming depression and cutting. I would never go back! Not after I’ve come so long without the knife. No, I don’t think of cutting anymore- Another step on letting go-…there’s so much ahead, I could never go back never!

2007-05-29T14:34:00.001-05:00

What ever happened to her?

Stellar group here.

I actually have the darwing he was working on.

Nice hat.

She worked so so hard - so I send her a Harry Potter bow.

That image in the upper right corner is mine.

Does prayer work - even if it is over a cookbook?

2007-05-29T09:10:00.001-05:00

The photo was by Ann

2007-05-29T09:05:00.000-05:00

Mother and son at a small diner with chaos everywhere.

Can you tell by the expressions?

NPQ - N'importe Quoi

2007-05-20T13:32:00.000-05:00

I've returned to this place after a long absence, indeed.

I saw it in need of visual revivification, so I provided for it.

I just now managed to log in to blogger (I had forgotten even my user name) and transfer everything to my google account.

A return to blogging?

Perhaps.

2007-05-18T21:20:00.000-05:00

notes from underground by that romantic crazy-man:

I am a sick man. ... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. Ibelieve my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about mydisease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don't consult a doctorfor it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine,anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I amsuperstitious). No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. That youprobably will not understand. Well, I understand it, though. Of course, Ican't explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by myspite: I am perfectly well aware that I cannot "pay out" the doctors by notconsulting them; I know better than anyone that by all this I am onlyinjuring myself and no one else. But still, if I don't consult a doctor it isfrom spite. My liver is bad, well--let it get worse!

I think I am going to memorize this and use it as a dramatic method for getting attention at dinner parties.

my poor wife

2007-05-18T21:11:00.000-05:00

images from a recent trip to the net -these can be found when googling images of "amazing photos" - for those who are insistent upon credit being given to where credit is due - I beg forgiveness for my laziness but direct you to see the source for yourself - along with so many others that are stunning.

2007-03-29T21:34:00.000-05:00

Democracy: two wolves sitting down with a lamb and discussing what to have for dinner.

Liberty: a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

-B. Franklin

2007-03-24T15:11:00.000-05:00

This is a difficult subject for me right now.

I have deep ties with emily joy, but I see her so infrequently that it is difficult to maintain a really close friendship. Part of that is my fault. I don’t make enough of an effort, but there’s so much else to do and so much else that needs to be done.

I have friends at school. My roommate makes fun of me for being a social butterfly, which never occurred to me before. In high school, I didn’t have that many friends, but a little effort exerted in college resulted in many more friends than I can properly deal with. I don’t have a best friend at school, I have a conglomerate of people I couldn’t function without. Most of them are sophomores, which will eventually leave me with the conundrum of what to do when they’re gone.

My default is no longer Milwaukee.
I suppose this is my default now. Second Burton lounge with Leah, James, and Erika watching Now & Then.

2007-01-16T21:08:00.000-06:00

well, before i begin my first entry in probably a really long time, i'll respond to g's questions. 1) my best friend is jessica. 2) she is my best friend because she's always been there for me and vice versa. she listens well and she makes me feel comfortable and safe. 3)i kind of already answered that in two. 4) i honestly don't know how to respond to that. but i will say that after new years, i had a new sense of self-confidence. i have never had self-confidence. it feels great not to be weighed down with self-loathing thoughts. and with that, i end with a photo and a promise to mail a cd on saturday.

peace to all.

2007-01-07T12:24:00.000-06:00

Who is your best friend?

What do they do for you?

What do you do for them?

What is your default?

My default seems to be this:

My single most important responsibility to anyone is to be right with God - as far as it depends on me. Discernment is required in all circumstances and the suspension of judgment at almost all costs. The closer I get to anyone, the more messed up I find them to be - this is said with the humble acknowledgement that I am the most messed up of all.

Happy New Year and joy and peace to you.

2006-12-05T20:10:00.000-06:00

Where have all the Rocks disappeared to?

Just wondering.

2006-10-31T09:34:00.000-06:00

Some Thinking can cause Sinking.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6077326441742307086&q=funny&hl=en

2006-09-25T09:43:00.000-05:00

Fall hikes = goodness - photo by me

2006-09-25T09:42:00.000-05:00

photo by AMG?

2006-09-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

A Simple Little Thing

She stood in a beaten yellow rainslicker, on the corner of 68th and Milwaukee Street, waving. Legions of cars were wafting through, slowing at the stop sign, resting to a hault, checking for the right of way, and passing across the five- point intersection; and all the while, she kept waving. It was four months into the major highway reconstruction, all of us were frantic to find alternate routes and it was here, as we all happened upon this tributary of downtown traffic, that we came upon her. At first we all thought she was developmentally disabled. Or stupid. Or simple. Because all she did was wave.

She waved. She waved at everyone, constantly. She was ummistakeably an olde-fashioned crossing guard, complete with little red handheld hexagoned stop sign. She was supposed to, we knew, be commissioned to simply direct traffic around onslaughts of little people's steps and dropped homework and laughing, traipsing tiny gangs on their way to school. Sure, she could wave a time or two to an oncoming or particularly patient fleet of cars. That wouldn't be so out of the ordinary. That would be appropriate. She could give a nod and wink even to the passing motorists at the knowingness of "adults vs children's" sense of timing and pace. But to wave so damned incessantly like this? All the time?"

It made most of us nervous, to tell you the truth. Really. I mean, really. To stand around even when there were absolutely no kids in sight and still wave?!? This really was almost too much. She had to be stunted. They would have to find out that she was too irresponsible, or too inept, or too simple to deal with potentially a real traffic problem..and they would have to take her off the route, into a home where she could be monitered and given the correct drugs and attention to this kind of condition, thing...but. Still. Still, she stood there, day after day, in every weather, on the corner, kids or no, waving. AND SMILING. Like she knew what she was doing. Like she knew she was just waving to cars, for no good reason for god's sake. Smiling and waving. It drove us nuts.

You'd think the city would have noticed, but even if they did...they didn't take her away. It just lasted and lasted. All through the months, as we found our angry, longer, twistier, more inconvient commute-paths, every day, every rush hour, to every weather report, there she was. Smiling and waving and happily escorting the occasional child across the street. There she was, mostly just waving. And then, the thing happened. It happened and it and we changed.

She waved, and out of the blue, as a whim, somebody waved back. One car. One loping, on their way through, never mind who car. Some, onebody waved back. She acted like she expected it all along. She waved a little more fiercefully back. She smiled, right into the car. And then she turned, and waved to the other corner.

One car must have seen what the first car did, they must have seen the initial wave from the car, and the rapid little influx of wave back by the crossing-guard, and her tiny little lift of a smile she regifted back. And it must have been an enticement because the second car, wanting that smile and little special wave, also gave a wave as they went through. And the rest was dominos, a landslide, history. 68th and Milwaukee Street started waving their guts out.

Oncoming cars, idling cars, turning cars, merging cars, if there was traffic nearing the area, hands were out, smiles were anticipated, noses of passengers were tilted toward the window closest to her, the same tawdry rainslickered woman who'd only weeks before had been the Parriah, the Idiot, the Toad. And we, all of us, vied for her attention. And we waved, Oh, how we waved. We waved at her, waiting for her to turn and acknowledge us, to get our portion of her little palm a flutter. We waved, staring at other cars, waiting to get her attention, and while we waited, we figured, it wouldn't hurt to wave at each other. So we did. We waved across meridians, at oncoming traffic, hoping to telecast our smiles, our goodwill, our version of what she gave us, a do-good morning thing that was way better than any other routine we'd had for years.

We waved in anticipation, hoping to get to the intersection early, while it was busy, so different than a month ago when everyone timed their commute to find the least traffic possible; now we got there 'early' just to have a little more time...to wave.

We waved and waved. We all waited for that moment in the morning commute, when we could all feel good about ourselves, and believe that we belonged, and that life was right, and love could indeed be had by all.

Most of the time the feeling only lasted until the Marquette interchange, when busses, and trucks and hundreds of cars who hadn't had a wave-moment, slid into our vision and peripheries and within moments our goodwill vanished. Our memories of the the woman were lost in fine tuning the radio traffic report, in contemplating the first order of business, in silently swearing at our purses and briefcases for losing our entrance id cards and coffee change, and of scheduled meetings and deadlines and mean-spirited politics of the day. We would lose it in minutes, most of us. We would not remember until morning, the next day, of our joy of the moment of being pure. But there she was, and is.

Wisdom and peace. Waving to us. Waving from the streetcorners, crying out, "come! come to me! all you who are weary, and heavy laden, and i will give you rest". And verily, yea, while the freeway is being rerouted, and roads are repaved, today, we come. And we wave. And we know not her name, she in the beaten yellow rainslicker, looking for all the world to see, a simpleton. A simpleton, named Wisdom, and Peace.

-written by M. Ageyev

2006-08-31T13:53:00.000-05:00

Going up or down?

Chicago Botanic

Photo by -g

2006-08-21T14:58:00.000-05:00

Opening Lines

So, what's a good opening line for a book or story? Here are a few, can you guess what book they belong to?

1: Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.
2: Ryan was nearly killed twice in half an hour. He left the taxi a few blocks short of his destination.
3: "Lot ninety-seven," the auctioneer announced. "A boy."
4: The great fish moved silently through the night water, propelled by short sweeps of its crescent tail.
5: His name was Gaal Dornick and he was just a boy who had never seen Trantor before. That is, not in real life.
6: Lessa woke, cold. Cold with more than the chill of the ever-lastingly clammy stone walls.
7: I was a bad kid.
8: Billy Pilgrim has become unstuck in time.
9: Marley was dead: to begin with.
10: The Navy is very old and very wise.
11: I always get the shakes before a drop.
12: If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

2006-06-13T09:14:00.000-05:00

"Deep within every human being there still lives the anxiety over the possibility of being alone in the world, forgotten by God, overlooked among the millions and millions in this enormous household. A person keeps this anxiety at a distance by looking at the many round about who are related to him as kin and friends, but the anxiety is still there, nevertheless, and he hardly dares think of how he would feel if all this were taken away" (SK Journals, VIII 1 A 363). NASA stock Photo used for a visual effect here.

2006-06-02T05:54:00.000-05:00

Go Oswald:

Are you obsessed by something? You will probably say, "No, by nothing," but all of us are obsessed by something? usually by ourselves, or, if we are Christians, by our own experience of the Christian life. But the psalmist says that we are to be obsessed by God. The abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God Himself, not just thoughts about Him. The total being of our life inside and out is to be absolutely obsessed by the presence of God. A child?s awareness is so absorbed in his mother that although he is not consciously thinking of her, when a problem arises, the abiding relationship is that with the mother. In that same way, we are to "live and move and have our being" in God ( Acts 17:28 ), looking at everything in relation to Him, because our abiding awareness of Him continually pushes itself to the forefront of our lives.
If we are obsessed by God, nothing else can get into our lives? not concerns, nor tribulation, nor worries. And now we understand why our Lord so emphasized the sin of worrying. How can we dare to be so absolutely unbelieving when God totally surrounds us? To be obsessed by God is to have an effective barricade against all the assaults of the enemy.
"He himself shall dwell in prosperity . . ." ( Psalm 25:13 ). God will cause us to "dwell in prosperity," keeping us at ease, even in the midst of tribulation, misunderstanding, and slander, if our "life is hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3). We rob ourselves of the miraculous, revealed truth of this abiding companionship with God. "God is our refuge . . ." ( Psalm 46:1 ). Nothing can break through His shelter of protection.

2006-04-12T06:57:00.000-05:00

Power Call - The Great Correction is coming and it may be found in a Bird.

Words matter. Words and images together can impact more than either alone. 'It was so real I could almost taste it' is an example of how we combine our senses with words for more descriptive communication. Image-based words go directly to the brain. If you issue a call to action in abstract language, we must decode the abstraction before we act. Questions that evoke images help: 'What would it be like if we did accomplish that? What would it taste like, feel like?' Effective communication is hard work, and people don't seem to want to work very hard these days. I have a notion in mind, and 'it's so close we can almost touch it.' Does this make my notion more achievable? more real? more doable?" Being able to elicit images in the mind of others has advantages. A message that is easy to understand reflects well on the message and the messenger. What is your message? What is your notion?

2006-03-24T08:11:00.000-06:00

Such friendly children.

A day at Pike Lake.

A hike.

Angst.

Frustration.

The Human Condition.

Stone Me.

2006-02-09T23:47:00.000-06:00

The power of nature to indicate metaphors for living

There is neither Self-knowledge, nor Self-perception to those who are not united with the Supreme. Without Self-perception there is no peace, and without peace there can be no happiness.

Because the mind, when controlled by the roving senses, steals away the intellect as a storm takes away a boat on the sea from its destination - the spiritual shore of peace and happiness.

Therefore, O Arjuna, one's intellect becomes steady whose senses are completely withdrawn from the sense objects.

A yogi, the person of self-restraint, remains wakeful when it is night for all others. It is night for the yogi who sees when all others are wakeful.

One attains peace, within whose mind all desires dissipate without creating any mental disturbance, as river waters enter the full ocean without creating any disturbance. One who desires material objects is never peaceful.

One who abandons all desires, and becomes free from longing and the feeling of 'I' and 'my', attains peace.

O Arjuna, this is the superconscious state of mind. Attaining this state, one is no longer deluded. Gaining this state, even at the end of one's life, a person becomes one with the Absolute.

Bhagavad Gita 2:66-72

2006-02-03T02:04:00.000-06:00

"A walk in the park is just that... but a struggle up a mountain will change a man."

Working for something is worth so much more than getting what you want.

So we all fight for whatever it is that gives us passion and meaning.

We all just want to be happy.

2006-01-01T08:22:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year

Here are a few quotes from various people that, I think, will set the tone for my coming year.

Death gives life its fullest reality.
-Anthony Dalla Villa

It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive - to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.
-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.
-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The world sucks. But life is beautiful. It is just so hard to see it through all the crap.
-Mark Burns

Metaphysics is a dark ocean without shores or lighthouse, strewn with many a philosophic wreck.
-Immanuel Kant

Happiness is something final and complete in itself, as being the aim and end of all practical activities whatever .... Happiness then we define as the active exercise of the mind in conformity with perfect goodness or virtue.
-Aristotle

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.
-John Kenneth Galbraith

There are three schools of magic.
One: State a tautology, then ring the changes on its corollaries; that's philosophy.
Two: Record many facts. Try to find a pattern. Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; that's science.
Three: Be aware that you live.
-Fortune

I know why I am here and my only real focused goal is to live each day to the fullest and to try and honor God and be an encouragement to others. What the future holds is firmly in God's hands, and I am very happy about that!
-Ken Hensley

2005-12-29T09:26:00.000-06:00

Do Children "Pay" For Their Parents' Sins?

Are you paying for your father's sins? Will your children have to pay for your sins?
The 2nd of the 10 Commandments says,

"You shall not bow down to (idols) or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments" (Deuteronomy 5:8-10, NIV). (Where the NIV says "punishing" the King James Version says "visiting").

Because of this verse, I have spent many years wondering, "Am I being punished for the sins of my grandfathers and great grandfathers?"

I also have spent a lot of time wondering, "Will my children and their children suffer for my sins?"

Perhaps you, too, have puzzled over these issues. Here's what the Bible has to say about the subject.

First, children do suffer for their parent's sins (notice the nuanced wording of the New International Version compared to the New Living Translation)...
You are loving and kind to thousands, though children suffer for their parents' sins (Jeremiah 32:18, NLT).

You show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the fathers' sins into the laps of their children after them (Jeremiah 32:18, NIV).

All you have to do to verify this is watch an episode of Dr. Phil. Dysfunctional, sinful (sometimes evil) fathers and mothers do leave emotional scars that can hamstring a child for life.

Second, children, however, do not pay for their parent's sins...
"Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sins" (2 Kings 14:6, 2 Chronicles 25:4).

Five Applications

What does this mean to a leader trying to disciple men?
As leaders, let's make sure our men understand they are not being held accountable for the sins of their fathers, even if they are suffering because of those sins. A man who never felt his father's love and approval is not responsible for his father's sin, even though it hurts.

As a deterrent to sinful behavior, let's make sure our men understand that when they sin (e.g., commit adultery or seek an unbiblical divorce), their children will indeed suffer for their sins. For example, a young woman told me, "When my father deserted us, I didn't just lose my dad. I lost my mom too, because she had to work two jobs and I hardly ever saw her." The effect on this young woman has been lifelong.

Let's encourage men to confess the sins of their fathers. It is biblical to confess the sins of our fathers (e.g., racism, abuse, neglect, dishonesty)?.

Those of Israelite descent had separated themselves from all foreigners. They stood in their places and confessed their sins and the wickedness of their fathers (Nehemiah 9:2).
But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers... (Leviticus 26:40).
Fourth, let's encourage men to ask God for mercy to be released from any bondage resulting from their parents' sins...

David prayed, "Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers" (Psalm 79:8).
Let's encourage men to forgive their parents - they will never make real progress until they do. Immediately after the Lord's Prayer, Jesus said?.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15).

Bottom line: Yes, as children we do suffer for our parents' sins, but we are not responsible for their sins. We don't "pay" for the sins of our parents. We each stand alone before God. We each need a Redeemer and Savior of our own.

Scott R. Kindness

2005-12-25T19:10:00.000-06:00

So last night we were in church listening to the homily.

[The we here is Lauren and I who were playing violin in the choir loft. The rest of the church was packed completely, but we got to sit by ourselves. Imagine that!]

Anyways, the priest mentioned something in the homily that really struck me.
I was dumbfounded, realio trulio.

He said,

(something to the effect of)

"in the eyes of the Lord, there is nothing about anyone that is irredeemable."

It's not like I hadn't heard that before, it just had never sunk in like that.
It just made christmas really good.

Oh,
and this, too:

yeah, that's a nano.

plus, my daddy-o made paella.

2005-12-24T07:04:00.000-06:00

Nothing Has Changed - everything is different

. . . your life is hidden with Christ in God
?Colossians 3:3

The Spirit of God testifies to and confirms the simple, but almighty, security of the life that "is hidden with Christ in God." Paul continually brought this out in his New Testament letters. We talk as if living a sanctified life were the most uncertain and insecure thing we could do. Yet it is the most secure thing possible, because it has Almighty God in and behind it. The most dangerous and unsure thing is to try to live without God. For one who is born again, it is easier to live in a right-standing relationship with God than it is to go wrong, provided we heed God?s warnings and "walk in the light" ( 1 John 1:7 ).

When we think of being delivered from sin, being "filled with the Spirit" ( Ephesians 5:18 ), and "walk[ing] in the light," we picture the peak of a great mountain. We see it as very high and wonderful, but we say, "Oh, I could never live up there!" However, when we do get there through God?s grace, we find it is not a mountain peak at all, but a plateau with plenty of room to live and to grow. "You enlarged my path under me, so my feet did not slip" ( Psalm 18:36 ).

When you really see Jesus, I defy you to doubt Him. If you see Him when He says, "Let not your heart be troubled . . ." ( John 14:27 ), I defy you to worry. It is virtually impossible to doubt when He is there. Every time you are in personal contact with Jesus, His words are real to you. "My peace I give to you . . ." ( John 14:27 )? a peace which brings an unconstrained confidence and covers you completely, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. ". . . your life is hidden with Christ in God," and the peace of Jesus Christ that cannot be disturbed has been imparted to you.

- O. Chambers

2005-12-20T17:20:00.000-06:00

To Eat or Not to Eat

Everyone was staring solemnly at the Tree when Aslan suddenly swung round his head (scattering golden gleams of light from his mane as he did so) and fixed his large eyes on the children. "What is it, children?" he said, for he caught them in the very act of whispering and nudging one another.
"Oh-Aslan, sir," said Digory, turning red, "I forgot to tell you. The Witch has already eaten one of those apples, one of the same kind that Tree grew from." He hadn?t really said all he was thinking, but Polly at once said it for him. (Digory was always much more afraid than she of looking a fool.)
"So we thought, Aslan," she said, "that there must be some mistake, and she can't really mind the smell of those apples."
"Why do you think that, Daughter of Eve?" asked the Lion.
"Well, she ate one."
"Child," he replied, "that is why all the rest are now a horror to her. That is what happens to those who pluck and eat fruits at the wrong time and in the wrong way. The fruit is good, but they loathe it ever after."
"Oh I see," said Polly. "And I suppose because she took it in the wrong way it won't work with her. I mean it won't make her always young and all that?"
"Alas," said Aslan, shaking his head. ?It will. Things always work according to their nature. She has won her heart's desire; she has unwearying strength and endless days like a goddess. But length of days with an evil heart is only length of misery and already she begins to know it. All get what they want: they do not always like it."
"I-I nearly ate one myself, Aslan," said Digory. "Would I ---"
"You would, child," said Aslan. "For the fruit always works-it must work-but it does not work happily for any who pluck it as their own will. If any Narnian, unbidden, had stolen an apple and planted it here to protect Narnia, it would have protected Narnia. But it would have done so by making Narnia into another strong and cruel empire like Charn, not the kindly land I mean it to be. And the Witch tempted you to do another thing, my son, did she not?"
"Yes, Aslan. She wanted me to take an apple home to Mother."
"Understand, then, that it would have healed her; but not to your joy or hers. The day would have come when both you and she would have looked back and said it would have been better to die in that illness."
And Digory could say nothing, for tears choked him and he gave up all hopes of saving his Mother's life; but at the same time he knew that the Lion knew what would have happened, and that there might be things more terrible even than losing someone you love by death. But now Aslan was speaking again:
"That is what would have happened, child, with a stolen apple. It is not what will happen now. What I give you now will bring joy. It will not, in your world, give endless life, but it will heal. Go. Pluck her an apple from the Tree."

C.S. Lewis. The Magician's Nephew. Pp. 173-175.

2005-12-18T16:48:00.000-06:00

INFANT DISCOVERED IN BARN, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES LAUNCH PROBE Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

Bethlehem, Judea- Authorities were today alerted by a concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a barn. Upon arrival, Family Protective Service personnel, accompanied by police, took into protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year old mother, Mary of Nazareth.

During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth, attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts to take the child, but were restrained by the police.

Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who allege to be wise men from an eastern country. The INS and Homeland Security officials are seeking information about these who may be in the country illegally. A source with the INS states that they had no passports, but were in possession of gold and other possibly illegal substances. They resisted arrest saying that they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own country. The chemical substances in their possession will be tested.

The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning. The manager Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable. Civil authorities are also investigating the zoning violations involved in maintaining livestock in a commercially-zoned district.

The location of the minor child will not be released, and the prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Service spokesperson said, "The father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage. We are checking with officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal relationship is.

Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a census requirement. However, because she was obviously pregnant when they left, investigators are looking into other reasons for their departure. Joseph is being held without bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping, child endangerment, and statutory rape.

Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being examined by doctors. Charges may also be filed against her for endangerment. She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God.

The director of the psychiatric wing said, "I don't profess to have the right to tell people what to believe, but when their beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others- in this case her child- we must consider her a danger to others. The unidentified drugs at the scene didn't help her case, but I'm confidant that with the proper therapy regiment we can get her back on her feet."

A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what was going through their heads? But regardless, their treatment of the child was inexcusable, and the involvement of these others frightening. There is much we don't know about this case, but for the sake of the child and the public, you can be assured that we will pursue this matter to the end."

2005-12-12T18:51:00.000-06:00

Three philosophies of life:

"To do, is to be. " - Socrates

"To be, is to do." - Aristotle

"Do be do be do." - Sinatra

To which one do you subscribe?

2005-12-11T21:42:00.000-06:00

Psalm 85

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. A psalm.

1 You showed favor to your land, O LORD;
you restored the fortunes of Jacob.

2 You forgave the iniquity of your people
and covered all their sins.
Selah

3 You set aside all your wrath
and turned from your fierce anger.

4 Restore us again, O God our Savior,
and put away your displeasure toward us.

5 Will you be angry with us forever?
Will you prolong your anger through all generations?

6 Will you not revive us again,
that your people may rejoice in you?

7 Show us your unfailing love, O LORD,
and grant us your salvation.

8 I will listen to what God the LORD will say;
he promises peace to his people, his saints?
but let them not return to folly.

9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him,
that his glory may dwell in our land.

10 Love and faithfulness meet together;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.

11 Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,
and righteousness looks down from heaven.

12 The LORD will indeed give what is good,
and our land will yield its harvest.

13 Righteousness goes before him
and prepares the way for his steps.

2005-11-13T18:49:00.000-06:00

Lilly . Bird
SK

There was once a lily that stood quite apart, near a little running brook, and was well acquainted with some nettles as well as a few other small flowers there in the neighborhood. The lily was, according to the Gospel's veracious description, more beautifully arrayed than Solomon in all his glory, besides being carefree and happy the whole day long....
But it happened one day that a little bird came and visited the lily; it came again the next day, and then it remained away for several days before it came again; which impressed the lily as being strange and inexplicable, inexplicable that the bird should not stay in the same place, like the small flowers--strange that the bird could be so capricious. But as so often happens, so too it happened to the lily, that because the bird was so capricious, the lily fell more and more in love with it.
This little bird was a bad bird; instead of putting itself in the place of the lily, instead of rejoicing with it in its beauty and innocent happiness, the bird wished to make itself important by feeling its own freedom, and by making the lily feel its bondage. And not only this, the little bird was also talkative, and it would tell all kinds of stories, true and false, about how there were, in other places, very unusually magnificent lilies in great abundance; how there were joy and gaiety, fragrance, brilliant coloring, a song of birds, which far surpassed all description.
So the lily became troubled; the more it listened to the bird the more troubled it became.... Now it began to occupy itself with itself and with the circumstances of its life in its self-concern--so long was the day.... Said the lily, "My wish is not an unreasonable desire; I do not ask the impossible, to become what I am not, a bird, for example; my desire is only to become a splendid lily, or even the most splendid one.
At last it confided absolutely in the bird. One evening they agreed that the next morning a change should take place that would put an end to the concern. Early the next morning came the little bird; with its beak it cut the soil away from the lily's roots, so that it might thus become free. When this was accomplished, the bird took the lily under its wing and flew away. The intention was, of course, that the bird would take the lily to where the magnificent lilies bloomed; then the bird would again assist in getting it planted down there, to see if, through the change of soil and the new environment, the lily might not succeed in becoming a magnificent lily in company with the many, or possibly even an imperial lily, envied by all the others.
Alas, on the way the lily withered. If the discontented lily had been satisfied to be lily, then it would not have become concerned; if it had not become concerned, then it would have remained standing where it was--where it stood in all its beauty; had it remained standing, then it would have been precisely the lily about which the preacher spoke on Sunday, when he repeated the Gospel's words: "Consider the lily.... I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like it."
And if a man, like the lily, is satisfied with the fact of being human, then he does not become ill from temporal concern; and if he does not become temporally concerned, then he continues to stand in the place appointed to him; and if he remains there, then it is truly so, that through being human he is more glorious than the glory of Solomon.

2005-11-13T00:15:00.000-06:00

Catullus 51

That man seems to me to be equal to a god,
That man, if it is right to say, seems to surpass the gods,
who sitting opposite to you repeatedly looks at you
and hears

your sweet laughter, something which robs miserable me
of all feelings: for as soon as I look
at you, Lesbia, no voice remains
in my mouth.

But the tongue is paralyzed, a fine fire
spreads down through my limbs, the ears ring with their
very own sound, my eyes veiled
in a double darkness.

Idleness, Catullus, is your trouble;
idleness is what delights you and moves you to passion;
idleness has proved ere now the ruin of kings and
prosperous cities.

2005-11-13T00:02:00.000-06:00

Sappho 31

He is more than a hero

he is a god in my eyes--
the man who is allowed
to sit beside you -- he

who listens intimately
to the sweet murmur of
your voice, the enticing

laughter that makes my own
heart beat fast. If I meet
you suddenly, I can

speak -- my tongue is broken;
a thin flame runs under
my skin; seeing nothing,

hearing only my own ears
drumming, I drip with sweat;
trembling shakes my body

and I turn paler than
dry grass. At such times
death isn't far from me

2005-11-12T10:04:00.000-06:00

Again, I ask... is it better to have love and lost, then never love at all?

This time there is a story behind the question. Of star-crossed lovers that haven't even been given a chance. They ended before they ever begun. Stealing furtive glances and making small hints, nothing more and nothing less.

The story has a beginning but the happy ending is pending.

If left to fate, nothing will happen. If left to them, nothing will happen. But they are so perfect for each other that it seems as if Fate had put them together. Of course Fate is up to you, really.

The clock is a tick-tocking, they're racing against time and they know they will lose. So is it really worth it? Is all the pain in the end worth the happiness at the beginning?

2005-11-10T19:56:00.000-06:00

I read this today and it was so strikingly similar to my previous post that I had to post it, too.

Bahá'u'lláh presents a vision of life that insists upon a fundamental redefinition of all human relationships--among human beings themselves, between human beings and the natural world, between the individual and society, and between the members of society and its institutions. Each of these relationships must be reassessed in light of humanity's evolving understanding of God's will and purpose. New laws and concepts are enunciated by Bahá'u'lláh so that human consciousness can be freed from patterns of response set by tradition, and the foundations of a global civilization can be erected. "A new life", Bahá'u'lláh declares, "is, in this age, stirring within all the peoples of the earth."

(Baha'i Topics: The Teachings of Baha'u'llah)

2005-11-10T18:45:00.000-06:00

Jay

Where are you?

Tell me a story.

Bruce

Tell me about your latest writing please.

Dan

What is the most important thought you have ever had?

Greg

Has God spoken to you in your suffering?

Can you share any insight with us?

Mark

What is Turkish Delight?

Have you any experiences you would like to share with us?

Scott

What is maturity?

Bill

What does it mean to pet a kitty in light of the dragon breathing down my neck?

Jim

You have lived longer than all of us. You have suffered such that just recently you were unable to move. You told me that you have made good and bad choices in your life. In light of the suffering you have gone through and seen in others, what is it that you would suggest for all of us to keep our way pure and discern the difference between good and evil?

Tim

What has painting done for your walk with God?

Dave N.

Are you bitter about anything?

Dave B.

Can you describe the difference between your 12 years in Sudan, your summer in Chicago's inner city and your present stay in Bolivia?

A.J.

What is magical about your walk with God?

All The Rest

What are you living for and what are you willing to die for?

2005-11-08T18:15:00.000-06:00

Parables of the Kingdom

Jesus uses parables to bring into existence the Empire [Kingdom] of God. This new Empire was not about morality. The commandments, though not rejected, are not the heart of the matter either. The Empire of God is about re-imagining life on new terms. In his parables, Jesus forces one to look at the world squarely, without illusion, and to see it for what it really is. It is our world, not God's. It works for some people some of the time. But ultimately it does not work, because it cannot reflect an ultimate reality whose nature is love. Jesus challenged those around him to re-create the world, to reconstruct human life and relationships in a way that would reflect and embody that ultimate reality. That is what the Empire of God is, or would be, if one were to choose to risk it.

Stephen J. Patterson, The God of Jesus: The Historical Jesus & the Search for Meaning

2005-10-30T14:29:00.000-06:00

Loving the Truth

"Those who begin by loving Christianity more than truth, proceed to love their sect more than Christianity, and end by loving themselves most of all"

-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"Man must be a lover of the light no matter from what day-spring it may appear...He must be a seeker of the truth no matter from what source it come. Attachment to the lantern is not loving the light...If we are lovers of the light we adore it in whatever lamp it may become manifest but if we love the lamp itself and the light is transferred to another lamp we will neither accept nor sanction it...We must not be fettered [...]"

-Abdu'l-Baha

2005-10-21T18:30:00.000-05:00

Jurgen Habermas, a political philosopher:

The "contract theory" of politics, from which our modern conception of "government by consent of the governed" derives, would be difficult to conceive apart from the Old Testament covenants. Similarly, our idea of the intrinsic worth of all persons, which underlies human rights, stems directly from the Christian ideal of the equality of all men and women in the eyes of God. Were these invaluable religious sources of morality and justice to atrophy entirely, it is doubtful whether modern societies would be able to sustain this ideal on their own. In a recent interview Habermas aptly summarized those insights: "For the normative self-understanding of modernity, Christianity has functioned as more than just a precursor or a catalyst. Universalistic egalitarianism, from which sprang the ideals of freedom and a collective life in solidarity, the autonomous conduct of life and emancipation, the individual morality of conscience, human rights, and democracy, is the direct legacy of the Judaic ethic of justice and the Christian ethic of love."

From my brother, Glen

2005-10-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

what if there was no light?
nothing wrong, nothing right.
what if there was no time?
and no reason or rhyme.
what if you should decide
that you don't want me there by your side.
that you don't want me there in your life.
what if i got it wrong and no poem or song
could put right what i got wrong?
or make you feel i belong?
and what if you should decide
that you don't want me there by your side.
that you don't want me there in your life.
-coldplay

no, really. what if?

2005-10-13T23:03:00.000-05:00

More on Miracles

and their inner significance:

Observe: those who in appearance were physically alive, Christ considered dead; for life is the eternal life, and existence is the real existence. Wherever in the Holy Books they speak of raising the dead, the meaning is that the dead were blessed by eternal life; where it is said that the blind received sight, the signification is that he obtained the true perception; where it is said a deaf man received hearing, the meaning is that he acquired spiritual and heavenly hearing. This is ascertained from the text of the Gospel where Christ said: "These are like those of whom Isaiah said, They have eyes and see not, they have ears and hear not; and I healed them."

---

Therefore, we say that the meaning of Christ's resurrection is as follows: the disciples were troubled and agitated after the martyrdom of Christ. The Reality of Christ, which signifies His teachings, His bounties, His perfections and His spiritual power, was hidden and concealed for two or three days after His martyrdom, and was not resplendent and manifest. No, rather it was lost, for the believers were few in number and were troubled and agitated. The Cause of Christ was like a lifeless body; and when after three days the disciples became assured and steadfast, and began to serve the Cause of Christ, and resolved to spread the divine teachings, putting His counsels into practice, and arising to serve Him, the Reality of Christ became resplendent and His bounty appeared; His religion found life; His teachings and His admonitions became evident and visible. In other words, the Cause of Christ was like a lifeless body until the life and the bounty of the Holy Spirit surrounded it.

Such is the meaning of the resurrection of Christ, and this was a true resurrection. But as the clergy have neither understood the meaning of the Gospels nor comprehended the symbols, therefore, it has been said that religion is in contradiction to science, and science in opposition to religion, as, for example, this subject of the ascension of Christ with an elemental body to the visible heaven is contrary to the science of mathematics. But when the truth of this subject becomes clear, and the symbol is explained, science in no way contradicts it; but, on the contrary, science and the intelligence affirm it.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Some Answered Questions, 22, 23)

2005-10-13T17:29:00.000-05:00

"It is better to love and lost then to have never loved at all."

Is it really? Is the happiness worth the all pain in the end?

I guess one can't really experience happiness without having to go through saddness as well.

The Ironies of Life... more like the Truths of Life.

2005-10-12T19:09:00.000-05:00

birthday post

robert capa said,
"if it isn't interesting,
you weren't close enough."
oh, damn that landmine.

2005-10-11T19:20:00.000-05:00

On Miracles

John 6:

26 Jesus answered them and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled.

27 Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed.

30 They said therefore unto him, What sign shewest thou then, that we may see, and believe thee? what dost thou work?

31 Our fathers did eat manna in the desert; as it is written, He gave them bread from heaven to eat.

32 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Moses gave you not that bread from heaven; but my Father giveth you the true bread from heaven.

33 For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world.

34 Then said they unto him, Lord, evermore give us this bread.

35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

36 But I said unto you, That ye also have seen me, and believe not.

49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead.

50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die.

Abdu'l-Baha:

...Therefore, miracles are not a proof. For if they are proofs for those who are present, they fail as proofs to those who are absent.

...But in the day of the Manifestation the people with insight see that all the conditions of the Manifestation are miracles, for They are superior to all others, and this alone is an absolute miracle. Recollect that Christ, solitary and alone, without a helper or protector, without armies and legions, and under the greatest oppression, uplifted the standard of God before all the people of the world, and withstood them, and finally conquered all, although outwardly He was crucified. Now this is a veritable miracle which can never be denied. There is no need of any other proof of the truth of Christ.

The outward miracles have no importance for the people of Reality. If a blind man receives sight, for example, he will finally again become sightless, for he will die and be deprived of all his senses and powers. Therefore, causing the blind man to see is comparatively of little importance, for this faculty of sight will at last disappear. If the body of a dead person be resuscitated, of what use is it since the body will die again? But it is important to give perception and eternal life - that is, the spiritual and divine life.

The meaning is not that the Manifestations are unable to perform miracles, for They have all power. But for Them inner sight, spiritual healing and eternal life are the valuable and important things.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Some Answered Questions, 22)

2005-10-11T01:05:00.000-05:00

Here is a quote that I like from my favorite of the several textbooks we use in my Jesus in History class:

Willi Marksen liked to remind us that not everyone who heard Jesus and experienced him first hand had the same reaction. Some said, "This guy is a nut!" Others said, "This is good teaching. Admirable. Interesting." But others said, "In this person's words and deeds I have experience God's very own presence in my life." Some people gathered around Jesus' open table and said, "Whoa! I'm never going to do that again. Eating with the unclean- that's just not what God-fearing people do." Others said, "Now that was interesting. Perhaps I'll try it again sometime." But others said, "Around that table I experienced something I would claim as nothing less than the very love and acceptance of God. It is God who calls us to such tables. The words I heard from Jesus were the Word of God." Is this good teaching, or does this activity unveil the fundamental principle of the universe? At such tables do we discover the very ground of all being?

Stephen J. Patterson, The God of Jesus: The Historical Jesus & the Search for Meaning

2005-10-08T21:47:00.000-05:00

Hannibal

Hannibal lived in the third century B.C. and is considered one of the greatest military generals ever by many. His tactics were studied by the U.S. Military and used in the Gulf war against Iraq. He is known for marching an army that included some 50 elephants across the Alps before they had ever even been charted. Once in Italy he took on the Romans and almost defeated them. During a series of battles Rome lost over 100,000 men while Hannibal lost very few.

However, he grew up under an intense hatred of the Romans. His country, Carthage, had been defeated by the Romans in a previous war, and he never forgot the humiliation. He spent his entire life living out his hatred, which included long periods of time away from his home and family for his extended campaigns. Once he was defeated, he spent the rest of his life as a fugitive. He had to continually find shelter in various cities abroad until the Romans would catch up to him again. Finally he was cornered and committed suicide.

What do you think of Hannibal? Was he one of the greatest generals ever or a terrible victim of his own hatred and prejudice?

2005-09-22T21:14:00.000-05:00

O Thou Whose tests are a healing medicine to such as are nigh unto Thee, Whose sword is the ardent desire of all them that love Thee, Whose dart is the dearest wish of those hearts that yearn after Thee, Whose decree is the sole hope of them that have recognized Thy truth! I implore Thee, by Thy divine sweetness and by the splendors of the glory of Thy face, to send down upon us from Thy retreats on high that which will enable us to draw nigh unto Thee. Set, then, our feet firm, O my God, in Thy Cause, and enlighten our hearts with the effulgence of Thy knowledge, and illumine our breasts with the brightness of Thy names. -Baha'u'llah

Be thou not sad, neither be thou unhappy, although the divine tests are violent, yet are they conducive to the life of the soul and the heart. The more often the pure gold is thrown into the furnace of test, the greater will become its purity and brilliancy and it will acquire a new splendor and brightness. -`Abdu'l-Baha

2005-09-18T13:16:00.000-05:00

1 Pet 4:16-19 (KJV)
Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf. For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.

"I went for a little visit of five days (to Areley House). There were ten persons in the house, some unconverted and long prayed for, some converted, but not rejoicing Christians. He gave me the prayer, Lord, give me all in this house! And He just did. Before I left the house every one had got a blessing. The last night of my visit after I had retired, the governess asked me to go to the two daughters. They were crying - then and there both of them trusted and rejoiced; it was nearly midnight. I was too happy to sleep, and passed most of the night in praise and renewal of my own consecration; and these little couplets formed themselves, and chimed in my heart one after another till they finished with Ever, Only, ALL for Thee!" -Frances R. Havergal

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

2005-09-03T19:11:00.000-05:00

Julia -

Well Than:

The terms "a priori" and "a posteriori" refer primarily to how or on what basis a proposition might be known. A proposition is knowable a priori if it is knowable independently of experience. A proposition is knowable a posteriori if it is knowable on the basis of experience. The a priori/a posteriori distinction is epistemological and should not be confused with the metaphysical distinction between the necessary and the contingent or the semantical or logical distinction between the analytic and the synthetic. Two aspects of the a priori/a posteriori distinction require clarification: the conception of experience on which the distinction turns; and the sense in which a priori knowledge is independent of such experience. The latter gives rise to important questions regarding the positive basis of a priori knowledge.

I guess it is useful if you intent to write a best selling book.

-------------------------------------------------
"Priori Incantatem," he muttered.
His eyes gazed into Harry's and it was almost as though an invisible beam, of understanding shot between them.
"The Reverse Spell effect?" said Sirius sharply.
"Exactly," said Dumbledore
-------------------------------------------------
The Goblet of Fire, page 697

2005-09-01T17:00:00.000-05:00

A Piori?

It seems to me that the more I 'understand' Socrates and Plato, the more I think of them as idiots with too much time on their hands. Perhaps I am the idiot, who really knows who is whom?

I think I will talk to my Philosophy professor after the next lecture. How could there be "A Piori" knowledge? If there were then five year olds would be a lot more... logical.

I propose that there is only A Posteri knowledge because even if we do not think we have learned it from experience, we probably did just not conciously.

Socrates, I am not impressed... unlike the rest of those Freshmen.

I need PROOF! Meno's slave is not proof enough because he should've understood simple Geometry anyway.

Philosophy is just a serious pseudo-science if you ask me.

2005-08-04T01:26:00.000-05:00

do you ever just wish people would just shut up?

"i love you."
"wtf?"
"don't say wtf."
"hi. how about that?"

i know i do.

(ps: i'm the one who says,"wtf?")

2005-07-24T10:12:00.000-05:00

Hypothetical situation:

You're sleeping and the Lord comes to you in a dream.
God says, "Ask what you wish me to give you."

Solomon asked for an understanding heart with which to judge God's people and discern between good and evil.

What would you ask for?

2005-07-12T00:24:00.000-05:00

in all honesty, i think my friends are the only stable thing in my life. i feel so confused about so many things. like relationships, for example. how people will sometimes, do one thing and say the next. isn't it supposed to be actions speak louder than words? well, in this case, i hope the actions are absolutely ear-drum-busting louder than these words.

my friends and i discovered, after watching Almost Famous, that we are the uncool. i think our realization of such a thing makes us cool because we're able to admit it. but it's just my thought.

2005-06-29T17:56:00.000-05:00

Meditation

O MY FRIENDS!

Have ye forgotten that true and radiant morn, when in those hallowed and blessed surroundings ye were all gathered in My presence beneath the shade of the tree of life, which is planted in the all-glorious paradise? Awe-struck ye listened as I gave utterance to these three most holy words: O friends! Prefer not your will to Mine, never desire that which I have not desired for you, and approach Me not with lifeless hearts, defiled with worldly desires and cravings. Would ye but sanctify your souls, ye would at this present hour recall that place and those surroundings, and the truth of My utterance should be made evident unto all of you.

O MY SERVANT!

Thou art even as a finely tempered sword concealed in the darkness of its sheath and its value hidden from the artificer's knowledge. Wherefore come forth from the sheath of self and desire that thy worth may be made resplendent and manifest unto all the world.

Who am I? Where do I come from? Why am I here?

and,

What is my essence, my true self?

2005-06-22T06:54:00.000-05:00

Lions and Dragons

Parables hide meaning from those whose pride and arrogance renders them deaf and blind. The nature of a Parable is to "place one thing by the side of another; to compare with another in likeness, similitude." Jesus is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the Lion of Judah. What does this mean to you? Satan is described as a roaring lion prowling around looking for someone to devour (1Peter5:8). It seems to me a mockery that changing garments would make you what you are clearly not on the inside. We fool ourselves more often than we fool those around us. What damage is caused in the fooling I wonder?

On a happier note, I can tell you that I am loving much better since you have entered my life. Thank you.

2005-06-19T20:50:00.000-05:00

As I look at this image, I realize that it is not what it seems. It is a digitized reflection of a painting of a sitll life. I learned about denotatation and conotation earlier this year. What we say is not always what we mean, and it is almost never what is heard. And then, like a Cezanne painting, a trigger is found and a connection is made to the eternal. Who can say through what or whom it will come or why or how long it will last, but when it does comes, it will certainly be an "oh wow". We need each other, you and I. We need a buddy to watch our path with and for us. We need to carry our own load, but we also need to carry each others load. Loving is easy when nothing is at stake. When children and hearts and souls are at stake, it is more difficult, there is no quitting - there is no running away. We need each other to pray with and for and because of our condition. We need each other for the encouragement we are not getting from the world - from ourselves even. Listen. Look at the image and listen. What do you hear? What does the painting tell you? Willingness to listen to a digital reflection of an oil painting is quite a compliment to this freindship, wouldn't you say? That's the way it works. Spirit equips us and we equip each other. God strengthens us and we stregthen each other. Father loves and encourages us, and we do the same to each other. What are you getting because I am not? What am I getting so much of that it is overflowing into you? Be careful what you eat, it will certainly flow out of you at one point or another. I am looking forward to another meal with you. It will never be identical to the last one, but I have no doubt it will be just as fulfilling and just as life-changing.

In Love,

2005-06-11T07:47:00.000-05:00

Dan

Dan is a genius

Dan Rules

Dan is sublime

Dan is humble

Dan is Super intelligent

Dan is gracious

Dan is my friend

Thank you Dan

Thank you for being my friend

2005-06-06T22:51:00.000-05:00

Well Then

For this is like the days of Noah to Me, when I swore that the waters of Noah would not flood the earth again; so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you nor will I rebuke you. For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken, says the LORD who has compassion on you. -Isaiah 54:9-10

Change is constant, and it is silly to think that what is will always be as it is. Eb and flow; eb and flow - what keeps you alive as you go? I have deep love flowing in and out of me. The ground I am standing on is shifting sand or wavy water, but my center is still in tact. The love I sense from the living God is deep.

Sitting in the presence of Greg and Scott and Jan (pronounced "Yon"), I sensed my youth and foolishness. I sensed the deep love of God flowing from Greg. His laughter was sincere and from a rich source and holy history. He told stories about his walk with God. They were quite convicting and beautiful. An illustration he gave about being connected to God as with a rubberband was particularly graphic. As we pull away from God, we are still connected. The further we stretch the band, the greater the impact will be when we are finally snapped back to God (he slapped his hands together here and said: WHAM!). And who do you think is going to get hurt on impact? Not God!

If earth, as CS Lewis writes, is only a room in hell, then I agree with you that it should be over quickly. The idea of something better is rather appealing. I have had glimpses of it in you, and I am rather grateful for that, but I am sad now and tired. Where do whales go in the summer time? I wonder if they find cool waters to rest in somewhere.

The smile of a star and the trust in an oath

A voice that keeps harmony with life and growth.

A sword never yielding, a well-guided bow,

A heart built for joy that bears burdens of woe.

A youth that is ancient, yet stays ever young,

The brightest of lights and best song ever sung.

Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. -Genesis 28:15

"Ah well, it is late and I am tired. Good night, Sam" said Bilbo, and he left without another word.

2005-05-30T10:27:00.000-05:00

Walking Flesh Breathing Spirit

Breath, she tells me, travels around the world and is shared. I breathe your breath and you breathe mine. Do you have an illness? I do and it is only curable by death.

We are due, he said, for a great correction. The human race has found diversion in every possible baseness or triviality. The great correction may come. What will your view be of it?

"Can you see?" I asked her. "Not well", she said, "I have fear." She was doing dishes and talking shallow. It is why I asked. She wants to see of course, and I am more blind than she, so I was not able to help much. We did pray though. There is a swing waiting for me, and a Book and a yellow pad. You may hear about it. You may not. You may create your own.

"Butterflies" I told her, "have a conflicting task this time of year. They must hide from preditors and at the same time attract mates." This can cause insanity. Bright colors attract mates. The shapes in which the colors are configured give the illusion of eyes and may scare away creatures who wish to eat but do not wish to be eaten.

Poisonous animals have a toxin in their body (or in some parts of their body)

which may kill or sicken an animal that eats it, bites it or even licks it.

Monarch Butterfly: There is no hope or protection against this dangerous animal.

Poison Arrow Frog: The bright coloration of the poison arrow frogs warns predators that they are poisonous. Once a predator has even licked a poison arrow frog, it gets very sick and will never try to eat one again. The poison protects them from most predators (except the snake Leimadophis epinephelus, which is immune to the frog's poison).

Pufferfish: Many parts of the blowfish (including the liver, muscles, skin, and ovaries) contain an extremely strong, paralyzing poison called tetrodoxin. This poison is about a thousand times deadlier than cyanide. There is no known antidote for this poison. Fugu (torafugu or fugu rubripes, Japanese pufferfish) is eaten in Japan, but is only cooked by specially-trained chefs who can minimize the amount of poison. Even so, many Japanese diners have died from eating this poisonous delicacy.

Queen Alexqandra's Birdwing: This is the biggest butterfly in the world. The Queen Alexandra's Birdwing has a wingspan of 1 foot (30 cm). This huge, poisonous butterfly lives in the rain forests of Papua, New Guinea.

Toads: Toads have poison glands (called parotids) behind their eyes, a chubby body, and shorter legs than frogs. Toads have no teeth, and most toads have warty skin. The largest toads are over 8 inches (20 cm) long. Females are larger than males.

When will I see you again?

Will any of you brilliant savants fix our comments?

http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=773

2005-05-24T20:34:00.000-05:00

. . .As long as He lendeth me breath.

Being visited by the man known as "-g" our humble blog host, (and his wonderful companions) always ends too soon, we just barely get going and, well . . .you know how those kind of friends make you wish for eternal Heaven right now.

As mentioned below, I was an overworked Cobbler by trade, had some severe back pain, bedrest didn't help, checked into the hospital hoping for cortizone shots and some pills and get back to work, spent eight days in critical care where they saved my kidneys from calcium poisoning, and was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma aka: bone marrow cancer. Prognosis: 1-2 years unless I get a bone marrow transplant, then 5,10 or even more years of remission.

So, at age 45 I have the privelege of joining those with terminal cancer, treatable but not curable, as an outpatient at the chemotherapy clinic.

These are now my people, we go in for our chemo, we all have a companion to drive us, and stay for the 2-5 hours it may take. The nurses here are different, they know that without the chemo, we die from our various cancers real soon. They put the needles in us painlessly. They have unlimited soft drinks, with perfect crushed ice, lotsa crackers, really nice big reclining chairs for us. There are always clergymen talking to the patients, Rabbi's, Priests, all kinds of Pastors. It's a busy place.

But I'm the new one, the young one. I still make jokes and kinda over do it, it's quite obvious I've only been going for about 5 weeks. My new people have been coming here for years. They are frail, weak looking, wearing the easiest clothes, the easiest shoes. They all have that worn out face, those wiped out eyes, that faded countenance.

Yet these are the mightiest warriors on the planet. They fight, and fight year after year against the inevitable. They sacrifice all that they were, all their resources. They battle against an enemy within. Each day is a victory, sometimes each breath is a victory. The longer they fight the less they have to fight with. Yet they don't give up.

I feel unworthy with my new people, I'm untested as a warrior, I really haven't suffered much yet, I'm sort of whiner about my discomfort, I'm not a very good patient, I get testy. I hope I can learn from these warriors just by being near them, just watching their faces and praying for them.

I'll check back with useful observations -- (Ps. 18:1)

2005-05-24T03:02:00.000-05:00

Waves of Thought

Thank you Bruce. Your studies bless us all. I hear voices, and in regards to your last post, one of the voices asks: What does that look like?

Cathy - you are much on my mind. Are you well? What are you doing? Send pictures.

Some time ago, I introduced to this small community - my cobbler - Greg. He is a man full of wisdom and joy and peace and dread? Perhaps not dread now. I was touched with dread a bit ago. It debilitated me. I manufactured many reasons for why it was with me. Perhaps it was simply a gift from God so I would know my wife's suffering better. Perhaps God was reminding me that he is my refuge and stronghold, and help will come from no other place. Perhaps it was many things. In my weakness, I called to a number of people for prayer support. I felt those prayers. I felt them deeply. The dread left me, and I felt a bit embarrassed by my foolish weakness. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for you. Greg sent me an encouraging word in my dark time. It went like this:

Dean,
Just finished the first wave of intercession
on your behalf, It contained this,

"........remember, Lord, one of
my all-time favorite Human-Beings, Dean.........."

It may be of
little consolation, but the feeling of pending doom has been my constant
companion for the last three years. It's more like a certain collision course on
a curvy highway, I know it's coming, but I don't know around which corner we
shall meet. I don't exactly live in fear of it, I'm mostly just watching out for
it.

Sometimes I think it's some kind of test of my faith, He says
"Trust Me in the darkness regardless of the consequences" and my feeble response
is usually, "if You could just give me some inkling of an escape route, some bit
of light, something I could be sure of." That is of course an automatic F on the
test.

So, brother, I'll pray for you what I pray for myself
(all my prayers end up like this anyway) for the courage and/or the
humility to trust Him in the darkness.

Please stay in
touch
Greg

Greg is a selfless man. A holy man. He recently was diagnosed with bone cancer. This has altered much for him, his family and all of us who know and love him. When I first heard the news, I walked around doing meaningless things like moving salt shakers on tables or adjusting chairs to line up visually with the edges of tables. I moved curtains to the left and then back to the right again. I was computing this man's removal from my life and what it meant. I was shaken and saddened - again for myself more than anything - I am immature that way. My wife is a researcher, and she researched the details of the illness. She also baked him a cheese cake. She is a good baker. After things settled down a bit, and we all searched our hearts for bearing, Greg contacted me again:

WOW DEAN!

you and I really had a
strangely-charged little exchange of emails, complete with foretelling, portents
and the Mystical. You felt pending doom, and I felt it with you, so we
prayed for each other. But then I lost all my footing, the pavement became
Jell-O, and now I'm eating the magnificent cheesecake Ann made, instead of
you!

So, my pending doom has been revealed. But what about your
pending doom? I prayed that you were mistaken, and it wasn't doom after all. Not
many men can search their conscience and find it clean! I certainly cannot.
Please let me know if there has been any resolution for you
Dean.

Please stop in any time, my new status is RETIRED. I'm just
home all day, sometimes I go to the clinic for chemotherapy, so it's usually
best to call first and check the schedule, most of the various medical
appointments are in the morning. I've got a pretty nice little setup here,
computer workstation etc. I would also like to have your advice, opinion,
comments and perhaps collaboration on an Art exhibit our new church is planning,
"New Christian Icons". We are going to paint and exhibit Orthodox Icons
and try to reinterpret all that symbolism without losing the Icons chief
purpose, to bring us into the prescence of the living God. Yes, Christians
making art for the Church!

Brother, I look forward to seeing you.
I love you and your amazing family,

Greg
(ps. 18:1)

I have invited Greg to share with us here. I hope he does. He has much to share. As do you.
Peace and love.

2005-05-23T19:10:00.000-05:00

KNOW THYSELF

Whenever a man desireth anything inordinately, he becomes restless in himself. The proud and the covetous can never rest. The poor and humble in spirit live together in all peace.

The man that is not yet perfectly dead to himself, is quickly tempted and overcome in small and trifling things. The weak in spirit, and he that is yet in a manner carnal and delights in the pleasures of the senses, can hardly withdraw himself altogether from earlthly desires. He is often afflicted when he withdraws himself from them, and easily falleth into anger when any opposition is made against him.

True quietness of heart therefore is gotten by resisting our passions, not by obeying them. There is then no peace in the heart of a carnal man, or in him that is addicted to outward things, but in the spiritual and devout man.

Thomas a Kempis 1380-1471

2005-05-21T16:55:00.000-05:00

Relating to God - Relating to You

In regard to God we are always wrong, this thought spots doubt and appeases its sorrow, this thought gives courage to and enthusiasm for action. Doubt is the destroyer of joy. The task of doubt is to frighten and startle us - to make us tremble and burst and fear and scream aloud everywhere. Suffering or sorrow is a necessary condition for edification. It effects the required adequate fright - otherwise edification is mere illusion. In regard to love, there is Spirit and Flesh. Mingling the two opens infinite possibilities for dramatic stories to be shared. Have you any to share?

Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac,

whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah.

Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering

on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

-Genesis 22:2

2005-05-09T21:54:00.000-05:00

DOES GOD EXIST?

Last week I listened to John Clayton give a lecture at Greenfield High School auditorium using science to prove the existence of God. It was fascinating. He was a former atheist who discussed the cosmos, cave men, dinosaurs, and fossil displays to prove there's an intelligent design to the universe. He believe's the Bible is true, word for word, fact for fact.

But he also argued against the typical creationist side of the debate. The Bible doesn't say the earth is 6,000 years old, as he proved by holes in geneologies and many missing eras from the Biblical account. Dinosaurs and men never existed together, since dinosaurs cannot exist in the same ecological medium as men, and modern dating methods are not wrong. He should know, since he does rock dating for a living as a consultant for petroleum companies.

That there's someone who believes the Bible to be true and yet is wise enough to understand that we live in an old earth, proves to me that God really does exist.

2005-05-05T05:59:00.000-05:00

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy.

1 Peter 1:13-16

So, How do you be holy? Where does discernment come from? What words have sparked you to action? What actions have you seen that have sparked you to match or surpass that action? I have acted in odd ways lately. I have handed tissue to crying kids; opened closet doors for distressed kids to scream in; given colored plastisine to angry children so they could mix it and feel better; called social services; been written up for questioning proceedure; spoken a word of encouragement here; said a prayer there; and basically allowed myself to be used by others for a verbal punching bag. I am disconnected from it, as if I am an observer of it. I wonder how my words have been a catalyst for action - or if they have. Words are tricky. Perception is trickier. What do you perceive? How 'off' is it?

Some conceive the universe as a closed system from which humanity cannot escape. This is an old idea, and I think immediately of Plato's myth of the cave, of the people whose knowledge consists of shadows of reality and who refuse to believe the message that there is an outside, a real sun that lights objects, and real objects that cast the shadows. Most people live contentedly in the closed universe; rebels and seekers try to escape from it and that tension gives us frustration as a catalyst for poetic thought and the tease of great writing. Thus Hamlet exclaims in frustration, "I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams".

The theme of living in a nutshell is fascinating, but leads to new dimensions and a new urgency for us. The closed universe of the Enlightenment was a source of optimism - now it is a source of alienation. Empiricism became the standard of what could be thought, and art responded to science by producing stories that served up a "slice of life." - with very little sauce.

As I put the facts and observations and words of my life into some semblance of order for understanding, I invariably turn to fiction. I will find my way to A Voyage to Arcturus by David Lindsay, but first I must spend a little time in The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis. Lewis' heroes, who, along with Puddleglum the Marshwiggle, are on a quest to find the lost Prince Rilian, become trapped, for a second time, in Harfang, the castle of the giants. For a second time, they go from a warm but repressive environment, the giants' kitchen, out into the cold. For a second time, language provides them with the knowledge and the means to escape. Looking out the window, they see the words "Under me" and realize that they should be looking for a way under the ruined city. Reading the cookbook recipes for preparing man and marshwiggle they learn that the giants intend to eat them. They use language to mislead the giants into thinking they have no intention of escaping, and so they escape.

Escape is the theme. Escape is the idea that becomes essential. What closed system are you in that you may need to escape from? What words are leading you to this escape? The children and Puddleglum fall into Underiand while hiding from the giants. They are taken to the castle of the queen, where they meet Rilian without knowing who he is. Rilian is dressed in black and looks like what I imagine Hamlet to look like. He has been captured and bewitched by the Queen of Underiand, so that he lives contentedly in the nutshell of his underground prison. The bewitchment is expressed partly by the loss of language: he does not recognize his own name. When according to nightly routine he is tied in the Silver Chair, the enchantment is lifted. He knows who he is and is able to use the name of Aslan. He begs them to release him, saying, "by the great Lion, by Aslan himself, I charge you!." Puddleglum says, "It's the Sign," but Eustace cautions, "It was the words of the Sign". They decide to believe that the words really mean what they say and release the Prince. Faith Hope and Love were at work here - obedience and duty as well I think.

Alas, they are not yet free. The Queen of Underiand, who is none other than the Green Witch, suddenly returns. Seeing the situation, she tries to renew the enchantment. Like some twentieth century enchanters, she uses a drug, and music with a monotonous, impelling rhythm. Gradually Jill forgets the names of things in our world, so that her memories become dreamlike. The Witch's enchantment primarily stems from twentieth century language analysis, which destroys the translucence of language, just as Enlightenment science destroyed the translucence of the physical universe.

In order to understand the action, it is helpful to review one of the pioneer works of language analysis - The Meaning of Meaning by Ogden and Richards. It posits two kinds of language, the referential and the emotive. Referential language refers to facts and objects; emotive language merely expresses feelings. Theological, moral, and esthetic judgments are by definition emotive, since they do not refer to physical facts and objects. The Green Witch tries to restore Prince Rilian's mental imprisonment, his confusion, by denying that words can point to anything outside of her kingdom, to anything transcendent. Rilian and the others tell her that something-the sun-exists outside her closed universe, but when they try to describe it by comparing it to a lamp she replies, "When you try to think out clearly what this sun must be, you cannot tell me. You can only tell me it is like the lamp. Your sun is a dream; and there is nothing in that dream that was not copied from the lamp". She almost convinces them that their language refers only to make-believe, that it is derived from her closed world, the empirical world of the senses(see comment by CH for origin of this).

But there are senses and senses. Puddleglum breaks the enchantment by treading out the fire and burning his foot. As Lewis comments, "There is nothing like a good shock of pain for dissolving certain kinds of magic". Puddleglum's pain helps him to realize that the Queen's underground world is dull. He says to the queen: "Suppose we have made up a dream world by playing a language game. Then all I can say is that... the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones." He adds, "We're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland."

What will your discontent with the shadows you call reality lead you to set out and discover? What are you looking for? What constrains you? What pain sobers you? What arms do you lean on and what are they attached to? Dragons? Angels? Puddleglums? In any case, your actions are guided by language and described by language and understood by language. What language do you speak? What are you saying? What do you understand? Questioning is easy. Doing is less so. Carry on then, and if we should meet, I will make every effort to encourage you with honest love, holy action and no answers.

2005-05-01T08:39:00.000-05:00

1 John

The Word of Life

1That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched?this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. 2The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. 3We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. 4We write this to make our joy complete.

Walking in the light

5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

2005-05-01T08:34:00.000-05:00

2

You will Know by Your Actions

1My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense?Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for[a] the sins of the whole world.

3We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5But if anyone obeys his word, God's love[b] is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

7Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. 8Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.

9Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. 10Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him[c] to make him stumble. 11But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

12I write to you, dear children,

because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.

13I write to you, fathers,

because you have known him who is from the beginning.

I write to you, young men,

because you have overcome the evil one.

I write to you, dear children,

because you have known the Father.

14I write to you, fathers,

because you have known him who is from the beginning.

I write to you, young men,

because you are strong,

and the word of God lives in you,

and you have overcome the evil one.

Do Not Love the World

15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world?the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does?comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

Warning Against Antichrists

18Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour. 19They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.

20But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth.[d] 21I do not write to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it and because no lie comes from the truth. 22Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist?he denies the Father and the Son. 23No one who denies the Son has the Father; whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also.

24See that what you have heard from the beginning remains in you. If it does, you also will remain in the Son and in the Father. 25And this is what he promised us?even eternal life.
26I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray. 27As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit?just as it has taught you, remain in him.

Children of God

28And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming.

29If you know that he is righteous, you know that everyone who does what is right has been born of him.

2005-05-01T08:32:00.000-05:00

3

Great Love

1How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears,[a]we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.

4Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 5But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. 6No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.

7Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work. 9No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.

Love one another

11This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. 13Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. 14We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

2005-05-01T08:29:00.000-05:00

4

Test the Spirits

1Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.

4You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 5They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. 6We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit[a] of truth and the spirit of falsehood.

God's Love and Ours

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

2005-05-01T08:22:00.000-05:00

5

Faith in the Son of God

1Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. 2This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. 3This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 5Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

6This is the one who came by water and blood?Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. 7For there are three that testify: 8the[a] Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement. 9We accept man's testimony, but God's testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which he has given about his Son. 10Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. 11And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.

Concluding Remarks

13I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us?whatever we ask?we know that we have what we asked of him.

16If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that he should pray about that. 17All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death.

18We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. 19We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 20We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true?even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

21Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

2005-04-25T03:06:00.000-05:00

Why must we analyze and dissect everything?

Can we not just take things as they are? Accept life as it is. Change what we can and pray for what we can't change.

I'm really into this whole accepting things as they are... except I don't, not really. I want to be content with life. However, who really can?

Perhaps the only ones who can answer that is the Enlightened but why would they care? They have accepted life and everything that accompanies it. They have not a care in the world because they are one with the world.

But do the Enlightened experience feelings as passionate as I do? And what is life without passion?

2005-04-23T22:28:00.000-05:00

Joke Jest Jeapordy

It happened that a fire broke out in the backstage of a theatre.

A clown came out to inform the audience of the danger.

Thinking it a jest, they applauded.

He repeated his warning urgently, they shouted even louder.

So I think it will be in the end - there will be a general applause

from the wits who think it a jest.

**************

How do I explain to you the result of pettiness on a spirit? Do you know? I have a friend who is laying in a hospital bed right now - dying of bone cancer. He is a most loving and happy man of God, suffering with great pain at a young age. Where does pettiness fit into this? Some of you may know him - his name is Greg Martins. He is my cobbler and companion and sage and spiritual wit. He is a musician and comic and artist and craftsman and holy man of God. I am so sad at the thought of his leaving me. I am not sad that he will leave this world; this is not a kind world. I will miss him dearly, but he is not gone yet - he is simply laying in a hospital bed suffering and being denied visitors.

----------------------------------------------------------

On another note: where have you seen rapture in the abyss of identity? What do you do that is inadvertant? When the soul is transported, the only virtue lies in loving what you see - the supreme happiness, then, is in what you have - not what you desire. It is here that blissful life is drunk at its source. It is here that we will live after our mortality has run its course. Have you been here? I am having my share of moments like this. It has only come just recently and grown like a great oak tree. I have had spurts and hints of it - profuond ones that have changed my life. What I have now is so deep and real and painful and uncertain that it causes me to laugh as I lay down for a rest. It causes me to weep as I realize how unworthy I am of it. I have not had my fill yet. I wish for more flames - of all sorts. Flames that consist of a splendid clarity and an unusual vigor and an igneous ardor. The clarity iluminates - the ardor burns. This fire is both spirit and flesh. It is for the martrye burned at the stake as well as for the union of flesh with flesh.

What suffering have you to tell of? What depth is it driving you to? What love have you found to protect you? I have found love - I must tell you. It is both human and spritual. The question is: what to do with it? One of you at least will have fun finding out. Most of you will too - I am confident of this.

2005-04-21T19:47:00.000-05:00

Ever once in a while, everybody needs a day where you can say,"I acted as though I won't wake up tomorrow." It's one of those days that gives you an epiphany and you go,"Yeah, I want to do this again." I had one of those days today.

Sometimes, you need to take a nice day down the beach and walk in the sand without shoes. You need a skip stones (or watch a friend skip stones) and procede to swing on swings that are recommended for ages 2-12, but you don't care. Then, you need to curse traffic to hell and back when you're trying to find a bank so you can get out money while listening to the Temptations and singing your heart out.

I can honestly say, it's the greatest feeling in the world.

2005-04-12T21:42:00.000-05:00

A week ago today, I had no homework tonight. The same goes for this night, but what's different is that last Tuesday, I was on an Art field trip in Chicago. The day was beautiful, in the 70s with blue skies and a tempting green park. I love the Chicago Art Institute so a group of friends and I looked for the one part of the museum that upon visiting I had never seen and that was the photography area. Exhibited was photographer Tokihiro Sato. This is one of my favorite prints:

"How did he do that?" one might ask because I know I did. Tokihiro Sato exposed the film for one to three hours at a time. He had about 13 pictures on display so one would figure at least two hours for each picture, only to take it, not to mention processing and enlarging. I know this task very well. It takes me one day (in class) to process and several days after to print my pictures. This was some hard work. When pictures were taken at night, Sato used a flashlight to create the line effect. He also used mirrors to reflect light (during the day) into the camera as to create dots throughout the picture, so it's as if his essence is there, but not to the point you could see it. I would've taken a picture of an example of this, but a security guard told me I couldn't photograph his work. Too late.

And to conclude, I found this interesting at the museum as well:

2005-04-11T14:51:00.000-05:00

For the second time in less than a week, I woke up, got hubby off to work and then the kids off on their school bus, came back home, crawled into bed in my clothing and fell asleep until noon. I am blaming this on the newly increased dose of Buspar in the last week and a half. I slept well last night so I cannot say I was lacking sleep. Buspar is supposed to make me relax and hopefully feel better about life in general. These effects were put to the test in another way last Friday.

Because I turned 40 in February I became eligible for my first mammogram, a general screening covered by insurance at my age now once per calendar year. It went well and I shortly afterwards received a letter saying that all my films appeared fine, nothing to worry about. Last Friday afternoon, and let it be noted that these things always occur on Friday afternoons just after all responsible staff have left the office for a well-deserved weekend, I opened my mail to find a bill for my recent mammogram. Well, that shouldn't be as I am finally at the age where these things are not only necessary, but they are paid for.

I called up our insurance provider and after pushing umpteen million different buttons and listening to recorded menu after recorded menu, I got to the place where you can push '0' to talk to a live human being. Said human was very congenial and listened as I described my problem with the bill. She then said that my computer record did show a note by this date of service and she put me on hold to go and check out what the problem was. After a longer than usual wait, she returned to tell me cheerily that the claim had been improperly coded and had been sent through noted as 'possible malignancy or tumor' instead of 'annual screening' so she would just change that and have it resubmitted for payment by the insurance company. Well, what a relief, at least for those few initial moments when I knew I would no longer be responsible for the $178 charge. Then the thought struck me, oddly, that were I having symptoms or had I found a strange lump in my breast and had I therefore been prescribed a diagnostic mammogram, my insurance would then charge me for that? Is that what she meant? Something seems wrong with this interpretation, but I was too relieved at that initial moment, thinking of nothing more than money, so I said thank you and hung up.

Then another, more chilling thought occurred to me. What if the mistake was not with the billing code? What if the mistake was with Tiffany, the minimum wage office clerk at Mayfair Radiology who was having a bad day and messing things up all over the office? What if she was looking forward to the sound of her boyfriend's motorcycle coming to pick her up those few weeks ago on that first nice weekend of spring back when it was time to mail out my unfortunate letter telling me to please come back in and schedule another more intense screening for my 'possible malignancy or tumor?' What if that motorcycle came rumbling into the parking lot beneath her open window just as she reached into the dreaded file and she accidentally grabbed the letter from the happy file when she had meant in all sincerity to grab the black-death letter from the adjacent file instead? What if she was too preoccupied with her hair and lipstick at that fatal moment to take a really good look at which letter she was now folding into the preaddressed envelope with my name on it? What if all was said and done but these past three weeks since my happy letter arrived were really the only one true window left to me to get back into my doctor?s office, get some surgery or something and make the difference between a few tortured years of failed chemotherapy and a long and fulfilling life?

It was now about time to pick my kids up from the bus stop. I didn't move. I just sat there on the bottom step with the insurance statement still in my hand. Soon there was a knock at the door and the kids were piling into the living room, turning on the television and rummaging the kitchen for snacks. Arthur was starting, so that meant it was 4:00 pm already. I quickly went into the kitchen and looked up the phone number for Mayfair Radiology and gave them a call. The lady who answered the phone also listened to my story politely, then told me that my records were no longer kept there, but maybe the transcription department could help me. They, of course, were no longer here for the week, but if I left a message they could get back to me on Monday. Then she comfortingly said she didn't blame me for wanting to double check. I was transferred and left my message with transcription, trying to sound nonchalant and breezy, certain that it was just a simple billing mistake and not the fated phone call that would forever forward mark the disintegration of my trust in the system medical and young girls named Tiffany worldwide.

After waking up the second time this morning, around 12:02pm, I showered and got dressed to run down to work to pick up more typing. When I got home I brought in the mail and let out the dog. I found a bill, this time from Mayfair Radiology for $178.00. I was about to revisit my fears and pick up the phone, but then I noticed the flashing light on the answering machine. I pushed the button and heard Debbie from Mayfair Radiology assuring me that I had received the proper letter. She gave her apologies for the billing code error and that was that. I left the message on the machine so I could replay it whenever I needed it.

How did my Buspar handle this little test of my nerves? I don't think I can tell, but I lived. Were those two four-hour naps worth it? I enjoyed them, if guilt for lying in bed that long can be pushed aside. I have a good life. I also have a niece named Tiffany. I wonder how she's doing?

2005-04-09T21:13:00.000-05:00

It is quite important to read the fine print on this one.

2005-04-01T15:01:00.000-06:00

Satan Conquered

2005-04-01T13:03:00.000-06:00

Here it is Emily! I apologize for the lateness and the low quality. You may see another from Ann soon. She is a perfectionist you know.

2005-03-28T13:38:00.000-06:00

Can we be done now - I really have things I need to do.

2005-03-28T12:50:00.000-06:00

Perspective is a funny thing. Can you imagine the story that goes with this one?

2005-03-28T12:48:00.000-06:00

Ann's Eye for Beauty

2005-03-28T11:58:00.000-06:00

For Allie

To quote a learned friend in regards to one of my essays: "I regret that your lack of intellectual concentration which was quite characteristic of the previous essay also leaves its mark quite clearly in this present essay."

Opinions are all of a kind - subjective. Who do we write for? I have been told more than once that it is for myself that I write. It is true, but I am working to get over it.

"Whom the gods wish to destroy they first make dumb with the notion of being a writer."

I write much, but I never claimed to be a writer. I will take your advice, and thank you for it.

*bows love*

2005-03-26T07:28:00.000-06:00

Health to you, and to you peace of spirit and mind.

The tongue may be small, but it wields astonishing power. The book of James compares it to a wild horse, a wandering ship, or a raging forest fire. Imagine having love and truth deep in our mind to filter every word we speak. Our mouths are supposed to be fountains of life (Prov. 10:11), but all too often they sound like babbling brooks. How do we avoid the tongue's five most troublesome slips: bragging, complaining, gossip, unchecked anger, and careless remarks? If I dwell deep with God, the overflow will consistently seep into my conversation. What might that look like?

THE POWER OF WORDS
by Edgar Allan Poe
1850

OINOS. Pardon, Agathos, the weakness of a spirit new-fledged with immortality!

AGATHOS. You have spoken nothing, my Oinos, for which pardon is to be demanded. Not even here is knowledge a thing of intuition. For wisdom, ask of the angels freely, that it may be given!

OINOS. But in this existence, I dreamed that I should be at once cognizant of all things, and thus at once be happy in being cognizant of all.

AGATHOS. Ah, not in knowledge is happiness, but in the acquisition of knowledge! In for ever knowing, we are for ever blessed; but to know all were the curse of a fiend.

OINOS. But does not The Most High know all?

AGATHOS. That (since he is The Most Happy) must be still the one thing unknown even to Him.

OINOS. But, since we grow hourly in knowledge, must not at last all things be known?

AGATHOS. Look down into the abysmal distances! - attempt to force the gaze down the multitudinous vistas of the stars, as we sweep slowly through them thus - and thus - and thus! Even the spiritual vision, is it not at all points arrested by the continuous golden walls of the universe--the walls of the myriads of the shining bodies that mere number has appeared to blend into unity?

OINOS. I clearly perceive that the infinity of matter is no dream.

AGATHOS. There are no dreams in Aidenn - but it is here whispered that, of this infinity of matter, the sole purpose is to afford infinite springs, at which the soul may allay the thirst to know, which is for ever unquenchable within it - since to quench it, would be to extinguish the soul's self. Question me then, my Oinos, freely and without fear. Come! we will leave to the left the loud harmony of the Pleiades, and swoop outward from the throne into the starry meadows beyond Orion, where, for pansies and violets, and heart's- ease, are the beds of the triplicate and triple - tinted suns.

OINOS. And now, Agathos, as we proceed, instruct me! - speak to me in the earth's familiar tones. I understand not what you hinted to me, just now, of the modes or of the method of what, during mortality, we were accustomed to call Creation. Do you mean to say that the Creator is not God?

AGATHOS. I mean to say that the Deity does not create.

OINOS. Explain.

AGATHOS. In the beginning only, he created. The seeming creatures which are now, throughout the universe, so perpetually springing into being, can only be considered as the mediate or indirect, not as the direct or immediate results of the Divine creative power.

OINOS. Among men, my Agathos, this idea would be considered heretical in the extreme.

AGATHOS. Among angels, my Oinos, it is seen to be simply true.

OINOS. I can comprehend you thus far - that certain operations of what we term Nature, or the natural laws, will, under certain conditions, give rise to that which has all the appearance of creation. Shortly before the final overthrow of the earth, there were, I well remember, many very successful experiments in what some philosophers were weak enough to denominate the creation of animalculae.

AGATHOS. The cases of which you speak were, in fact, instances of the secondary creation - and of the only species of creation which has ever been, since the first word spoke into existence the first law.

OINOS. Are not the starry worlds that, from the abyss of nonentity, burst hourly forth into the heavens - are not these stars, Agathos, the immediate handiwork of the King?

AGATHOS. Let me endeavor, my Oinos, to lead you, step by step, to the conception I intend. You are well aware that, as no thought can perish, so no act is without infinite result. We moved our hands, for example, when we were dwellers on the earth, and, in so doing, gave vibration to the atmosphere which engirdled it. This vibration was indefinitely extended, till it gave impulse to every particle of the earth's air, which thenceforward, and for ever, was actuated by the one movement of the hand. This fact the mathematicians of our globe well knew. They made the special effects, indeed, wrought in the fluid by special impulses, the subject of exact calculation -so that it became easy to determine in what precise period an impulse of given extent would engirdle the orb, and impress (for ever) every atom of the atmosphere circumambient. Retrograding, they found no difficulty, from a given effect, under given conditions, in determining the value of the original impulse. Now the mathematicians who saw that the results of any given impulse were absolutely endless - and who saw that a portion of these results were accurately traceable through the agency of algebraic analysis - who saw, too, the facility of the retrogradation - these men saw, at the same time, that this species of analysis itself, had within itself a capacity for indefinite progress - that there were no bounds conceivable to its advancement and applicability, except within the intellect of him who advanced or applied it. But at this point our mathematicians paused.

OINOS. And why, Agathos, should they have proceeded?

AGATHOS. Because there were some considerations of deep interest beyond. It was deducible from what they knew, that to a being of infinite understanding - one to whom the perfection of the algebraic analysis lay unfolded - there could be no difficulty in tracing every impulse given the air - and the ether through the air - to the remotest consequences at any even infinitely remote epoch of time. It is indeed demonstrable that every such impulse given the air, must, in the end, impress every individual thing that exists within the universe; - and the being of infinite understanding - the being whom we have imagined - might trace the remote undulations of the impulse- trace them upward and onward in their influences upon all particles of an matter - upward and onward for ever in their modifications of old forms - or, in other words, in their creation of new - until he found them reflected - unimpressive at last - back from the throne of the Godhead. And not only could such a thing do this, but at any epoch, should a given result be afforded him - should one of these numberless comets, for example, be presented to his inspection - he could have no difficulty in determining, by the analytic retrogradation, to what original impulse it was due. This power of retrogradation in its absolute fullness and perfection -this faculty of referring at all epochs, all effects to all causes - is of course the prerogative of the Deity alone - but in every variety of degree, short of the absolute perfection, is the power itself exercised by the whole host of the Angelic intelligences.

OINOS. But you speak merely of impulses upon the air.

AGATHOS. In speaking of the air, I referred only to the earth; but the general proposition has reference to impulses upon the ether- which, since it pervades, and alone pervades all space, is thus the great medium of creation.

OINOS. Then all motion, of whatever nature, creates?

AGATHOS. It must: but a true philosophy has long taught that the source of all motion is thought - and the source of all thought is-

OINOS. God.

AGATHOS. I have spoken to you, Oinos, as to a child of the fair Earth which lately perished - of impulses upon the atmosphere of the Earth.

OINOS. You did.

AGATHOS. And while I thus spoke, did there not cross your mind some thought of the physical power of words? Is not every word an impulse on the air?

OINOS. But why, Agathos, do you weep - and why, oh why do your wings droop as we hover above this fair star - which is the greenest and yet most terrible of all we have encountered in our flight? Its brilliant flowers look like a fairy dream - but its fierce volcanoes like the passions of a turbulent heart.

AGATHOS. They are! - they are! This wild star - it is now three centuries since, with clasped hands, and with streaming eyes, at the feet of my beloved - I spoke it - with a few passionate sentences- into birth. Its brilliant flowers are the dearest of all unfulfilled dreams, and its raging volcanoes are the passions of the most turbulent and unhallowed of hearts.

2005-03-23T10:57:00.000-06:00

Happiness

Isn't that what everyone wants? Isn't that what everyone desires? That is the motivation.

Wouldn't a better question be, "What makes you happy and why?"

Think about that one because it is what should really matter. If there is no joy in life there is nothing.

2005-03-20T16:39:00.000-06:00

The Logic of Melancholy Joy

Kierkegaard tried to throw off his melancholy and become known as quite a bon viveur (did I spell that correctly Eva?) in Copenhagen society. However, his journal revealed a darker, suicidal side:

"I have just returned from a party of which I was the life and soul; witty banter flowed from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me - but I came away, indeed that dash should be as long as the radii of the earth's orbit wanting to shoot myself."

At the core of his work is the rejection of systematized, logical thought as a definitive guide to life and meaning. His chief target here was Hegel, whose philosophical system was seen by many in the mid nineteenth century as able to explain virtually everything. Hegel thought that wherever there appeared to be a contradiction, a thesis and antithesis, it would be possible to reach rational harmony by means of a synthesis between the two. What is irrational in the original two positions is thus eliminated and what is rational is preserved. But Kierkegaard argued that the 'movement' in the synthesis is not explained. If the synthesis is fully contained in the thesis and antithesis, then the synthesis is no real progression at all. If, on the other hand, there is something novel in the synthesis, then the movement is not strictly rational, as something new must have been introduced that was not contained in the original pairing.

Kierkegaard's point is that no matter how rigorous your logical system, there will always be gaps. As these gaps are logical gaps, it is futile to try and bridge them. Instead, they can only be breached by a leap of faith. What characterizes a leap of faith is the absolute uncertainty that underlies it. Faith is by definition that which cannot be proven or disproved. That is why a leap of faith is undertaken.

I take from Kierkegaard the idea that human existence requires real 'passion' as well as thought. It is well, then, that I am surrounded by those who are willing to forgive, for surly passion will overcome reason and forgiveness will be needed.

So I ask again: What are your desires?

What is your passion? What do you think?

2005-03-19T18:07:00.000-06:00

Mary Freise.

She was a longtime parishoner at my church and she died last week. Everyone knew her, not necessarily by name, because she always came towards the altar really showly at communion time. At every mass during communion she would take father's hand and ask him, "Am I going to be okay?"

2005-03-12T10:19:00.000-06:00

Excerpt from Duisterville

They entered the forest just as the sun set and long shadows stretched across the campus, making it all seem very dark. Philip noticed that some of them, Dom and Piper included, had brought flashlights. He and Caleb, having come unprepared, had none, and so stumbled many times over twigs and roots, and were scraped and whipped by various branches. Once they were deep into the forest, Dr. Veritas stopped everyone and spoke to them, leaning heavily on his cane, half supported by Zhi at his other side. "The shugas are ferocious rodents. With their venom, a bite or even a scratch would cause death for which there is no remedy. But remember, as Zhi already has already said, they're dead. Their venom has been made powerless by the work Zhi has already done. They can still bite and scratch and cause terrible pain. Perhaps it stings, but they can't really hurt you."

Then Zhi organized them into groups of two to four and sent them further into the forest. Philip and Caleb were put together with Dom and Piper. He was about to hand them shuga guns when Dom pulled his kuzdelem from his pack. "Y'ah, yes. Y'you Regnum already have shuga guns." Then he moved on to organize the next group.

Everywhere they went in the forest, they saw mounds of dirt where the shugas had dug up the ground, and trees fallen over where they had eaten clear through the trunks. In one place the landscape looked as though a tornado might have hit. "Look at this destruction," remarked Dom in amazement.

They all four saw something move behind one of the mounds of torn up dirt and tree branches. A small shadow of a reptilian shape with a pointed snake's head and a rat's body jumped high in the air. They could see for just a brief moment that it was built with bones sticking out of its skin, long bony legs, inch-long fangs bared, and claws just as long. Tiny eyes like red laser light stared out at them. The four watched with a sickening nausea while the creature spread bony wings made of black, rotting skin and furiously sped towards them. The wings accelerated its attack so that it was flashing towards them at an amazing speed, fangs bearing out of its pointed mouth when Dom raised his gun and fired. Blinding light pulsed from Dom's gun and covered the creature, causing it to make an ear-splitting squeal before it dropped to the ground in flames.

Dom, followed by the other three, cautiously approached the place where the shuga had landed, and found only a mound of charred flesh. "This one won't do any more damage," Dom reported after probing the ashen remains with his foot.

"Imagine what that could do if they weren?t already poisoned," Caleb remarked quietly. Philip still had the image of the bony creature with rotting flesh and laser eyes fresh in his mind, and was a little too vexed to answer.

As they went further into the dark forest, they watched carefully for any movement while they plowed through fallen trees, broken branches, displaced earth full of rocks, and even some pieces of wood that looked removed from somewhere on the campus grounds. It would have been difficult to see them in the darkness except for their laser-red eyes. One, two, three, and then ten, fifteen, and twenty and more were destroyed, dropping to the ground in flames just like the first. Philip counted five that he had shot himself. He lost is earlier dread and was feeling rather confident, marveling at how easily they succumbed to the pulses of light from the gun.

Finally it grew late, and the four trudged back to the clearing in the forest. Zhi was glowing when Dom told him how many the four and destroyed. When they had safely left the forest and were under the glowing globes of the campus, Philip noticed for the first time that there was small writing scrawled across the cannon area of the kuzdelem gun. He held it up towards one of the globes and read,

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

2005-03-06T13:47:00.000-06:00

You Can Be Whatever You Want to Be
by Donna Levine

There is inside you
all of the potential to be whatever
you want to be
all of the energy to do whatever
you want to do.

Imagine yourself as you would like to be,
doing what you want to do,
and each day, take one step
towards your dream.

And though at times it may seem too
difficult to continue,
hold on to your dream.

One morning you will awake to find
that you are the person
you dreamed of
doing what you wanted to do
simply because you had the courage
to believe in your potential
and to hold on to your dream.