Thursday, January 13, 2005
Thoughts From Aaron
Still no right way to live. No universal one at least. Everything is in context. Politics and government create a box for people so that the world can be run "properly". Although this "Properly" run lifestyle is necessary for a large amount of unthinking masses, it a curse to a free spirit. Therefore I will end my discussion of politics at this point in my life and try to think about the more spiritual aspect of my being. For I am not going to follow the rules of society if I wish not to, of course in many cases the agreed lifestyle of society is, in my opinion, the "Correct" way. I will not go out of my way to disobey this thing that has worked for so long to run an impossible world of contradictions created by people of large difference. I have found that "there is no right way to live" is just one of many absolutes that define the statement that there are no absolutes. Thus my quote is this: "There are no absolutes, only paradoxes." This belief is a tough one to cope with but I feel that it is a necessary for one to be able to look at things in an unbiased way. Which is actually almost impossible, for we are constantly surrounded by things that affect how we think. In any case though, after we realize that there are no absolutes and that there is no right way to live it leaves us with nothing. It leaves you with a feeling that this life is meaningless and that you can never believe in anything again because it isn't correct/absolute.
This is where I am stuck, in this place of meaninglessness. From now on I can have thoughts, opinions, and decide how to live my life, find my meaning and they will be mine. They will not be forced upon others and I will have realized that others aren't wrong or right, just different. Difference needs to be respected. I despise money. I despise the chains that a world with money represents. And I'm still deciding whether or not to join society in this way, jobs, housing, etc. I want to paint and lend my love and assistance when I feel it necessary. I want to take troubled people under my wing and lend them my thoughts and learn from theirs. I feel an importance in passionate arguments about beliefs. For humans have many diverse thoughts, all of which cannot be explored by one person and arguing allows learning of others thus a learning of the world around you and a compassion, or even hatred, for the others that walk this earth. I also find it important that I find a core meaning to my life, something to hold onto in my ever-changing thoughts. An island on which to stand while this crazy world spins around me. I still retain my belief that that there is a difference to learning and to being taught.
I find it extremely satisfying to throw away all supports and struggle through life, finding your own thoughts and living your own way. For then you can come back from your journey with experience to back up your Philosophies. And you can sit, isolated while you reflect upon that experience. Waiting to throw yourself back into that maelstrom. To test yourself. I feel that we can do anything we wish with our lives, and that at a young age we are born into a box made by society's rules. And we are taught that this is how it is supposed to be done. If kids could only learn to teach themselves they would find that they could venture outside of the box. This doesn't mean that they have to, just that they must recognize the possibility. And if they don't they are what I call ignorant or stupid. And it is because of this ignorance that they feel a necessity to fight, to strive to be rich, to hate gay people, to try to be "cool", to laugh at losers, to get a job. If they could realize that "Their Way" isn't necessarily the "Right Way" they could have respect for people who break the mold. All situations can be seen in any light you wish and although everything effects your thoughts and actions nothing controls them. I have decided that self-control is the most admirable quality of a person. And it is one which I strive to have. To be able to have a "hard" life and not care and still be satisfied/happy is amazing. To take criticism without rebuttal. And thus worrying is futile, as well as anger. The only that matters in the long run is action, and even that cannot stop the cycle of human stupidity. But that mean you don't try, because without believing in a "better" tomorrow what is the point?
My life is good. I paint. I write. I think. I have my ***** and I have my models. I love my music. And I love *****. I cherish every minute of sanctuary under my parents' wing. While I collect my thoughts I prepare myself for the chaotic world. Although I know that I must venture into the rain someday and I hate the idea of a perfectly "happy" life, I somehow know
that I will miss this.
I hope you do not mind that I posted this. I think it will generate good thought and I think that seeing it here will allow you to re-think some of it. I am constantly reminded that love is stronger than knowledge. Love that is pure. What standards do you use to tell you how things are? You have spoken well, but you have contradicted yourself. Can you see it?
- posted by -g @ 9:22 AM | | 0 rocks in pond
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